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Signs of a Troubled Relationship

Anyone who's been in a long term relationship knows there are rough periods, and most people will admit to having doubts along the way.  But sometimes we don't know how to assess just how bad it might be.  


Here's a list of symptoms that suggest a relationship is in trouble: 


_____  You feel worse around your partner than you do when you're on your own.


_____  Your self esteem has plummeted since you've been together.


_____  Either you or your partner, or both of you, are dishonest with each other.


_____  You often feel hurt by how you are treated by your partner, instead of feeling good while being together.


_____  You complain frequently about your relationship with your partner to others.


_____  One or both of you have become frequently critical of each other.


_____  You are unable to approach your partner with your concerns in a reasonable way, without exploding in anger or using passive aggressive (sarcastic, outwardly compliant but inwardly defiant) behavior.  You feel you must walk on eggshells most of the time.


_____  Most if not all of the issues that come up between you remain unresolved even when you do try to sort them out together.  Therefore, one or both of you often take a "why bother?" attitude about dealing with issues.  This is different from "choosing your battles," because even important issues remain unresolved and go underground.


_____  You lose your enthusiasm about life, and have given up most of your hobbies, friends, or interests that were important to you before.  Instead you are consumed about the difficulties you are having in your relationship.


_____  You no longer trust your mate.  This one is tricky, because some of us have trust issues,  and find it hard to trust anyone.  You may need help in exploring this with people who know you well.  Of course, sometimes your doubts turn out to be warranted.


_____  Little things about your relationship bother you and you can't let them go.


_____  You find yourself more drawn to priorities outside the relationship than spending time together.


_____  Your sex life has dwindled down to very infrequent or none at all, and at least one of you is unhappy about it.


_____  One or both partners have become closer to someone else than with each other.  This can be an emotional affair, or it can even be a friend, sibling, parent, or even one of the children.  Obviously the most destructive of these is if there is an actual affair.  Online relationships are just as destructive as if they were in person.


_____  You find yourself reverting to behaviors that take you away from your partner that are not likely to support a healthy lifestyle:  drinking too much, spending too much time zoning out - TV, Facebook, video games, pornography, overworking, etc.)



Did you answer YES to three or more symptoms?  

Call Beth for an appointment now!




Read Beth's blog about the Seven Pillars of a Good Relationship

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