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Couples Therapy.  While you still have the time.

Couples therapy gets a bad rap due to the fact that many couples wait until it's too late.  They don't get to therapy soon enough, and once they do, they find that either there is too much anger or they have lost all their passion, maybe their love.


Ah, but you haven't lost your hope.  That's a good place to be.  


Couples come to therapy to figure out not just how, but if they can make it work.  It's okay to have a session or two to explore how you feel about trying to work on it.  It's a hard thing to ferret out.


Couples sessions are different from individual therapy in two ways:


  • they last 90 minutes instead of one hour

  • I, as therapist, am more engaged and directive


Does it work?  Let's unpack this.  Many couples report finding new and effective ways of communicating. They begin to realize how to get their partner to hear them in ways that are respectful and kind. They discover it's fun to be with each other again because they're not fighting as often or as long. But sometimes what therapy can help with is in deciding if this is the right relationship for you.   Sometimes the healthiest choice may be to split up, in as elegant and kind a way as possible.  

Most often I watch couples come in nervous, but that seems to disappear quickly. By the end of the first session, there's often a tangible relief - there is help, and they are starting to see their issues are not so far out of reach that they can't be resolved.  I love working with couples because the love that grew in the relationship comes back to light.  It's actually a very sweet process.


Couples therapy often can provide:


  • a way to hear each other with more gentleness and compassion

  • a better understanding of each other's reactions, and the underlying needs of those pesky dynamics

  • code words that bring both partners to a deeper understanding of what's happening in the moment

  • an honest revelation of feelings, but with a desired effect of drawing closer, versus hurting the other

  • a way to articulate what works in your relationship and what needs to be built upon, along with  a recognition of what may never change

  • a safe place to address difficult issues and decisions

  • ways to have more fun


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